What It Takes To Be American

I have a friend named Kim who just recently came to the United States from South Korea. There are a lot of interesting things about this guy, the first of which is that he's a genius. He knows a lot about his country's politics, economy and social structure, and more about America than most Americans (which is to say, he at least knows who the Vice President is).

A couple days ago, Kim said the following...

"I have the addiction. I can't stop drinking Dr. Pepper."

I think that Kim is an American now.

Apologies

I must apologize. I have not blogged in a long time. I haven't even been that busy, I've just been not blogging.

But now things are changing, because I have things to blog about. So now I close to go write something more useful.

I Give Up

I'm giving up on my plan to solve every major social problem in the world. This is not because I can't, but because it's tedious to outline every single problem when the answer is so obvious.

See, I thought of lots of different problems that all started out different, but then they all started to blend. It turns out that every problem has the same solution:

Jesus.

So when I realized this, I decided that it was time to start something new. I'm going back to my old ways of just writing whatever pops into my head.

I'm sorry to those of you who were relying heavily on these posts to solve your problems, but I get bored easily.

Global Warming

Really, the biggest problem we currently have is Al Gore, the creator of human-driven global warming. It sure wasn't the factories that did it.

Seeds

This one is a major problem. It's the problem of watermelon seeds. Imagine it--there you are on a hot summer day, and eating a wonderful, perfect watermelon. But there in the center, creeping into your beautiful enjoyment, is a small black seed. And another. And another. And another after that. And then another sentence starting with "and."

We need to eliminate this problem. I think this should be done by burning all watermelon plants in the world. No watermelons means no watermelon seeds. Easy solution.

Skillet

In about 24 hours, I will surrounded by a very large crowd of people, who are all observing a group of people standing on a stage holding guitars. This group of people is known collectively as "Skillet." Skillet is classified as a Christian metal band, meaning that they like thick distortion on their guitars, play mostly in minor keys, and talk about Jesus in a positive light.

In the place where I live, many people consider this style of music to be evil. I am not one of them.

I have been writing this blog for a whole six months and still haven't said that. Realizing this, I am ashamed. So here is a list of things I haven't admitted:

1: I don't think that the King James Version of the Bible is the only correct one.

2: I don't like the song Peace Like A River, and in fact I don't like the majority of the hymns that I know.

3: I don't believe that the gifts of the Holy Spirit died with the last of the apostles (in my defense, there is absolutely no biblical backing for this).

4: I don't think that it's wrong for a woman to wear pants.

5: I don't think it's wrong for a woman to speak in church.

6: I don't think that you're going to hell if you've been to a Catholic/Methodist/Church of Christ church.

That's all I can think of for now. If you've never heard any of these things said, good for you. If you believe any of these things. . .this is probably the wrong blog for you.

P.S. A little before I see Skillet, I'll see a band called Demon Hunter. I really wish I had thought of that name first so that I could use it for an acoustic/bluegrass band.

Update: I made an error. In no. 5 I missed the word "don't." I don't what I said I did think. This is what is called "the works of the foolish man," I guess.

Also, Skillet was great, Demon Hunter was. . .not as good. However, I would love them forever if they did a version of Peace Like a River.

Shovels

Shovels are useful tools. So are power-drills.

New Month Day

Happy New Month day. Today is the very first day in the month of May. Everyone shout hooray and say, "hey! This is the way to June!." May your day be colorful and lacking in gray, because they say that the way to be happy is to force it that way.

I've run out of words that rhyme with May, but I'll be back soon. Keep reading, okay?

Mitchell

The Reason For The Cow

Objections have been raised by several people about the picture I have used for my profile. It is a cow formerly owned by my family and formerly named Sarah. Currently, this cow is in our freezer, fridge and stomachs. The objection is over the fact that the picture is one of a now-dead thing.

However, this is why I don't think it matters:

The picture is supposed to be one of me, not that of a cow. So if it were merely a cow, the picture would be flawed. But this cow is one that I have assisted in eating. So actually, various parts of the cow are now a part of me. So really this picture, when it was taken, could be captioned "future Mitchell."

So that is why I have a picture of a deceased cow on my blog.

Two Lists

Things that will not get you to heaven:

1. Killing people

2. Lying and being deceitful

3. Committing any form of adultery

4. Telling people about Jesus (what? this doesn't get you to heaven?)

5. Going to church (what are you talking about?)

6. Giving everything you own to the poor (this is in the wrong list, right?)

Things that will get you into heaven:

1. The blood of Jesus

2. . .

*********************************************

We'll have to wait on number 2, until our weapons become advanced enough to knock down the gates of heaven, or we figure out how to splice perfection into our DNA.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

Language Reform

The idea of grammar is interesting to me. Who came up with it? And spelling. When did spelling become standardized? Did someone decide one day that our language needed to work like this, and not like that? If so, he didn't do it very well. I'll admit that grammar usually works well, but spelling does not.

Look at words like "eight" and "bomb." They don't sound like they look at all (and why do we have to have words for numbers? Why not just write it 8?) Standardized spelling is good, but why not make it a little more sensical. English, supposedly, is written phonetically. Wouldn't it be great if that were true? "Facade" should be written "fussad," and the letter K should be eliminated, since it's redundant to C. As for letters:

G should no longer share a sound with J.

C should cease to share with S.

X, Q and K should be removed from the alphabet.

The sounds Sh, Th and Ch should be replaced by, respectively, Q, K and X.

And those are my thoughts for the day.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

Another Day

I still have inspiration deficiency. However, I also still want to have a post for every day in the month, and so I am writing.

That's all. I'll probably have something real to say tomorrow.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

29 - 1 = Incompletion

I have ruined everything. It was my goal to have post everyday in the month of February. But I missed yesterday, and now all hope is lost. I can do two posts in one day, which will bring the total for the month to 29 (since it's a leap year), but I can never fill the gap that will be left.

There is now a hole in Controlled Disorder. Please, watch your step and don't fall through it.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

Today

Today is the only day that can be changed. Yesterday is permanent, and tomorrow doesn't really exists. Because it hasn't happened yet, tomorrow is just a figment of the imagination. So the great Today is the only thing that matters.

However, Today is strongly influenced by yesterday. Most of the things done Today are because of what happened yesterday. The rest are in preparation for Tomorrow. This doesn't make sense. Why does it work that way? I can't answer, because I live completely in the moment. But for one of you living in a moment that isn't this one, please tell me. Why are you worried about what you can't change? By worrying, you can't change a single hair on your head.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

The Winner

For your information. . .

The New York Giants just won the Super-Bowl. I hope they're happy.

my pocket

Here are the contents of my pockets, in case you want to know:


1. A wallet. This is a useful thing to have for carrying money, a driver's liscense and credit cards. The only thing is, I have none of those.


2. A guitar pick. This is much more useful, because when I pick up my guitar I don't have to search for an hour before I can actually play it. Although usually the pick ends up magically in my wallet, making it harder than ever to find it.


3. A pocket knife. Always good to have, in case I get lost in the wilderness and have to kill a bear.



4. Coins. How else do you make a big decision?



5. Holes. These aren't technically in my pocket, but lots of coins seem to end up going through these tedious spots of emptiness.


And that's all. I think the tag (completely useless) is pretty accurate today.

Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

conversation

Have you (the reader) ever been completely at a loss for something to say? Have you ever just been so astounded by something another person said or did that you couldn't think of words to say? Or seen something so incredible it completely stole your voice away? If so, I don't understand you at all.
Well, that isn't entirely true. One time I had such a bad sore throat that I couldn't speak above a whisper. That, however, is the extent of my wordlessness. No matter what is said to me, I can just about always come up with a reply. I don't always say that thing, and sometimes it doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but I always have something to say.
To another person, anyway. When talking to God, on the other hand, I usually have nothing to say. I can say things like "please give me perfect grades on my math test today," or, "please give me a new guitar," but that isn't really conversation. God doesn't want my requests to be the extent of our relations.
Once I wrote a song, and entitled it "At A Loss." The lyrics were as follows.

"I'm at a loss, I have no words to say."

I was trying to write a praise/worship song. Instead, I ended up with that one line. I realized that I didn't really have anything to say--I was just filling up time and paper.
Why is it hard to talk to God? That's a really easy question to answer. Let me write a list of reasons.

1. Because He is the ruler of the universe, and we're little insignificant specks.
2. Because we can't see Him, and have a hard time with what we can't see.
3. Because we have nothing in common with Him that we can talk about.

All of these barriers can be overcome, mostly because He is constantly overcoming them so that we can talk to Him easier. Even with all barriers overcome, though, it still remains difficult. Even overcome, the barriers remain.
So what do we talk to Him about? This is, in fact, another really easy question. Jesus showed us exactly what we can talk to Him about. Look in Matthew 6:9-13. This passage is commonly referred to as the Lord's Prayer, because it was prayed by our Lord Jesus.

6:9 Therefore pray in this way: Our Father, who is in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
6:10 Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
6:11 Give us this day our daily bread;
6:12 and forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.
6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil. For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

So here's what you can talk to Him about (and here's another list):

1: Worship (vv. 9-10, 13b). God loves our praise, and it's surprisingly fulfilling to praise Him.
2: Confession (v. 12). Why bother to confess sins to God, since He already knows them all? Basically, because confessing a sin to God makes the sin far less powerful in your life. God can deal with it much more effectively once you have admitted to Him that you have the sin.
3: Requests (v. 11). No one needs help with this part. I do think it's interesting, however, that this is the shortest part of the prayer, and that praise is the largest chunk. It's important, when praying, to praise more than request. If there's a long list of requests, that just means there will be a lot of praise.

I hope that this has made a difference to someone besides myself. If it didn't, I apologize for wasting your time.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell

the answer

Why did God create humans?

A: He had nothing else to do.
B: He wanted someone He could love.
C: He needed some new toys.
D: He did it on accident. He sneezed, and there we were.

The correct answer is B. God created us because He wanted someone to love, and He wanted someone who would love Him. Humanity exists solely to fulfill these two purposes. He wants us to worship Him, and He wants to bless us. Whether our loving Him or His loving us is the more important of the two reasons, I don't know. I don't think it matters, at the moment.
The point is this: we have a specific purpose--the object of God's love. OK, why does this matter?
Yesterday, I asked why God would create humans as such frail creatures. Why would He want to be stuck taking care of us? Maybe because He loves us.
Most of you have probably finished your Christmas shopping by now. If so, you probably understand what I'm saying. Giving to people you love is a good experience. I would recommend it as therapy to anyone who is depressed. It's somehow uplifting to imagine the faces of other people as they receive a much-desired gift.
God is the same way. He loves to give us gifts, although sometimes these gifts are hard to see. They can be as simple as a roof over your head or food to eat. I'm not talking about prosperity theology here at all. My point is just this: God loves to give to us, just as we love to give to others. We are, after all, made in His image.
I hope that I've answered my own question now, pointless though it may be. And though it may be pointless, please remember one thing: to avoid depression, give gifts (I'll post a wishlist sometime).
Goodbye, valiant reader
Mitchell

Explanation

My name is Mitchell Nelson. I call myself me, but you can call me Mitchell. This is my blog, and as you can see, it is called "Controlled Disorder." Those two words put together in this way create what is commonly called an oxi-moron, which means that one contradicts the other. Disorder is a thing that can't be controlled.
However, controlling disorder is what I'm going to attempt to do. My brain (and yours) is filled to the brim with disorder, because it's fully impossible to organize my thoughts. Thoughts can't be organized. And thus, I created a blog so that I could put my chaotic thoughts onto the Internet. Once in writing, they can be organized. That's the idea, anyway. We'll see if it works.
This is the end of today's post. The interesting things begin next time I post, be that tomorrow or six years from now.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell