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Long ago, in a land far away (from my current location, anyway), there was a man named Aesop. He told a lot of stories that had nothing to do with reality, and included a less than subtle message about how people should be good. These stories were called fables.
One of the most famous of these is called the Tortoise and the Hare. I'm going to retell it (not, of course, that I wish to show myself a better storyteller than Aesop. This is not my intention, nor is it my intention to prove myself wiser. This might be the results anyway, but if so it is not my fault.)
Long ago, in a land far away, there was a tortoise. This tortoise was named Tortoise. He was the slowest and weakest of all the animals in the world. A hare, who happened to be named Hare, was constantly making fun of Tortoise's slowness. You see, Hare was the fastest.
One day, Tortoise got sick of this. "I'm sick of this," he said to Hare. "I challenge you to a race."
After the laughs died down, everyone realized that Tortoise was serious. An awkward silence settled over those present. Hare stared at Tortoise with a confused grin. "Well, okay," he said.
So everyone immediately placed all their money on the victory of Hare, except for one wise old man. This wise old man slowly sized up the odds, then quietly muttered something to himself. "Slow and steady wins the race." He was nearly drowning in wisdom.
Tortoise and Hare lined up at a large, imposing baobob tree. Tortoise suggested that their destination be another tree about a hundred yards away. "No, how about that one?" Hare said, pointing to one on the distant horizon.
"Okay," Tortoise said with a shrug. The possum named Possum shouted "Go!" The race was off.
Tortoise began to slowly plod along the path. Hare watched him go for a few seconds, then scratched his armpit and started running. Hare, as the fastest of all creatures, rapidly passed by Tortoise. He then preceded just as rapidly to reach the baobob tree on the distant horizon. Everyone cheered as he burst across the finish line.
Everyone was happy, except for the Tortoise and one wise old man.
Moral: Aesop was a little out of touch.
I think this story more adequately describes life as we know it. The losers lose and the winners win. God, however, tells a different story. He says that the first place champions will be nothing, and the losers will rule the world. He, however, is not out of touch with life. Aesop was eventually thrown off a cliff. God is still running the universe, and will continue in this infinitely.
So here's how the world works: everyone gets about seventy to eighty years to show his colors. Then, when that time is up, God decides whether that person has bright enough colors to make it into the ruling class. (Arrogance and apathy towards the lowly, by the way, are not the kind of thing He wants.)
I hope you enjoyed this new revision of The Tortoise and the Hare.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell the depressing (but not depressed) writer
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
The Flood
It is commonly believed among Christian communities that, at some point in history, God caused a flood to cover the entire world. Everyone on earth was killed--with the exception of a man named Noah--because they were evil. Noah, Noah's wife, and his three sons survived because they built an enormous boat.
I'm going to add a little to that story. First of all, the flood came because of water pouring from the sky in the form of rain. This is commonly accepted by those who believe in the flood in the first place. But this has deeper meaning. Preceding the day of the flood, it had never rained before. Noah had never seen rain before. Also, at this time, the world consisted of a single, massive continent which is referred to as "Pangea." The flood broke this apart into the continents as we now know them. Noah lived in about the center of this continent.
So Noah had never seen rain before. He'd also never seen an expanse of standing water. Water came up from the ground in a fine mist, which gave life to the plants. So maybe, at the best, he had seen a puddle.
I would speculate that Noah rarely even looked at the sky. Because the globe was surrounded by a giant ice canopy (which compressed the atmosphere to create the enormous plants and insects found fossilized today), and so the light of the sun would be dispersed such that it wouldn't seem to be a single ball of light. If Noah ever looked up, he probably saw nothing of interest.
So when God said "Build an ark, it's going to rain," that's the equivalent of Him saying today "build a jugrin, it's going to bezhrull."
Noah had no clue what was going to happen, but he did what God told him. That's the first point.
Here's the second: As most people know, God left a symbol that He would never flood the earth again. This is what we now call a rainbow. But He also left another symbol, which is not actually one He mentioned but one which is there just the same.
The rain is a symbol, just like the rainbow. Whenever you see a rainbow, remember that God will never flood the world again. When it rains, remember that He can.
God is going to keep His promise. But He doesn't have to. He can destroy us all, if He wants to. He can flood the world again, and the best we could do is tread water as long as we can. He can destroy every human being on the planet with a thought.
But He doesn't. He continues to be patient--infinitely so. So next time you think that God is being unfair, or just allowing evil to run rampant, remember the flood and the mercy he has shown us by not doing it again.
God is love, and love is merciful. He will give grace to anyone who asks--and this will be needed by all, because the world will be destroyed again. But this time it will be by fire, instead. I hope these dark thoughts have brightened your day.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
I'm going to add a little to that story. First of all, the flood came because of water pouring from the sky in the form of rain. This is commonly accepted by those who believe in the flood in the first place. But this has deeper meaning. Preceding the day of the flood, it had never rained before. Noah had never seen rain before. Also, at this time, the world consisted of a single, massive continent which is referred to as "Pangea." The flood broke this apart into the continents as we now know them. Noah lived in about the center of this continent.
So Noah had never seen rain before. He'd also never seen an expanse of standing water. Water came up from the ground in a fine mist, which gave life to the plants. So maybe, at the best, he had seen a puddle.
I would speculate that Noah rarely even looked at the sky. Because the globe was surrounded by a giant ice canopy (which compressed the atmosphere to create the enormous plants and insects found fossilized today), and so the light of the sun would be dispersed such that it wouldn't seem to be a single ball of light. If Noah ever looked up, he probably saw nothing of interest.
So when God said "Build an ark, it's going to rain," that's the equivalent of Him saying today "build a jugrin, it's going to bezhrull."
Noah had no clue what was going to happen, but he did what God told him. That's the first point.
Here's the second: As most people know, God left a symbol that He would never flood the earth again. This is what we now call a rainbow. But He also left another symbol, which is not actually one He mentioned but one which is there just the same.
The rain is a symbol, just like the rainbow. Whenever you see a rainbow, remember that God will never flood the world again. When it rains, remember that He can.
God is going to keep His promise. But He doesn't have to. He can destroy us all, if He wants to. He can flood the world again, and the best we could do is tread water as long as we can. He can destroy every human being on the planet with a thought.
But He doesn't. He continues to be patient--infinitely so. So next time you think that God is being unfair, or just allowing evil to run rampant, remember the flood and the mercy he has shown us by not doing it again.
God is love, and love is merciful. He will give grace to anyone who asks--and this will be needed by all, because the world will be destroyed again. But this time it will be by fire, instead. I hope these dark thoughts have brightened your day.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
Friday, February 8, 2008
Color
Color is light. Light is not color. In fact, even though color is light, the two things have opposite purposes. While light assists vision tremendously (without it there would even be vision), color can hinder it just as easily. The whole purpose of paint is to hinder vision. If a wall has a big stain on it, just paint over the stain and it vanishes. Though the stain is still there, it can't be seen. The color hinders sight.
Color is much like religion. Light is like Jesus. Religion is an aspect of Christianity, much like color is an aspect of light. Religion will logically follow from Christianity, like color comes with light. The problem is that sometimes people try to make religion the whole thing. Religion without Jesus is like color without light--which is the same as darkness.
Jesus can't jut be integrated into religion. He has to be more than the sculpted figure on the cross or the man on the poster holding a lamb/child/little dog. He is everything. So when we attempt to do anything in any church, no matter how good it may sound, but Jesus is not behind it, the result will be inevitable. It will end with a fight and a division.
So church leaders: keep Jesus central. For all of you who are not church leadership: keep Jesus central. For those who don't even know who Jesus is: find out.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell.
Color is much like religion. Light is like Jesus. Religion is an aspect of Christianity, much like color is an aspect of light. Religion will logically follow from Christianity, like color comes with light. The problem is that sometimes people try to make religion the whole thing. Religion without Jesus is like color without light--which is the same as darkness.
Jesus can't jut be integrated into religion. He has to be more than the sculpted figure on the cross or the man on the poster holding a lamb/child/little dog. He is everything. So when we attempt to do anything in any church, no matter how good it may sound, but Jesus is not behind it, the result will be inevitable. It will end with a fight and a division.
So church leaders: keep Jesus central. For all of you who are not church leadership: keep Jesus central. For those who don't even know who Jesus is: find out.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Today
Today is the only day that can be changed. Yesterday is permanent, and tomorrow doesn't really exists. Because it hasn't happened yet, tomorrow is just a figment of the imagination. So the great Today is the only thing that matters.
However, Today is strongly influenced by yesterday. Most of the things done Today are because of what happened yesterday. The rest are in preparation for Tomorrow. This doesn't make sense. Why does it work that way? I can't answer, because I live completely in the moment. But for one of you living in a moment that isn't this one, please tell me. Why are you worried about what you can't change? By worrying, you can't change a single hair on your head.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
However, Today is strongly influenced by yesterday. Most of the things done Today are because of what happened yesterday. The rest are in preparation for Tomorrow. This doesn't make sense. Why does it work that way? I can't answer, because I live completely in the moment. But for one of you living in a moment that isn't this one, please tell me. Why are you worried about what you can't change? By worrying, you can't change a single hair on your head.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Prayer
Yesterday I mentioned (briefly) the miracle of prayer. I believe I devoted the second half of a sentence to it. Today, things are different. Today, I’m going to spend a whole post talking about it.
Prayer is a thing that we think very little about. Most Christians pray on occasion, usually when they want something, but don’t think about what it actually is. In an earlier post, I devoted a lot of words to praying, but I never said what exactly it is.
Prayer is a form of communication. It’s the spiritual equivalent of the phone, except that you can only call one person using prayer. That person (God) is always listening, and you don’t need any kind of phone to talk to him. It’s as simple to use as vocal cords, with one principal difference. Prayer is anything but natural, entirely unlike talking.
God is infinitely patient, and will listen to anything you have to say. Again, this is completely unlike the phone. To prove my point, let’s do an experiment.
Go pick up the phone, and dial the number of someone you know well. It doesn’t matter who—just call someone. Begin the conversation like you normally would, and then ask for some money. Or ask for something else. Whatever it is that you want. Now, come back and report your findings.
Most likely, the discussion did not go well from there. God is not like that. God will keep on listening to whatever you have to say to Him. That’s part of the miracle.
The other part of the miracle is that we can talk to Him at all. We humans are obsessed with our senses. We rarely rise above them to grasp at our potential. God doesn’t have any potential—He could be no greater than He already is. That’s why we capitalize the word “He” in reference to God.
Prayer is an incredible miracle. Prayer is the natural talking to the supernatural, and not even bringing the dead to life could be so amazing.
So, do more miracles more often. It’s good for you.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
Prayer is a thing that we think very little about. Most Christians pray on occasion, usually when they want something, but don’t think about what it actually is. In an earlier post, I devoted a lot of words to praying, but I never said what exactly it is.
Prayer is a form of communication. It’s the spiritual equivalent of the phone, except that you can only call one person using prayer. That person (God) is always listening, and you don’t need any kind of phone to talk to him. It’s as simple to use as vocal cords, with one principal difference. Prayer is anything but natural, entirely unlike talking.
God is infinitely patient, and will listen to anything you have to say. Again, this is completely unlike the phone. To prove my point, let’s do an experiment.
Go pick up the phone, and dial the number of someone you know well. It doesn’t matter who—just call someone. Begin the conversation like you normally would, and then ask for some money. Or ask for something else. Whatever it is that you want. Now, come back and report your findings.
Most likely, the discussion did not go well from there. God is not like that. God will keep on listening to whatever you have to say to Him. That’s part of the miracle.
The other part of the miracle is that we can talk to Him at all. We humans are obsessed with our senses. We rarely rise above them to grasp at our potential. God doesn’t have any potential—He could be no greater than He already is. That’s why we capitalize the word “He” in reference to God.
Prayer is an incredible miracle. Prayer is the natural talking to the supernatural, and not even bringing the dead to life could be so amazing.
So, do more miracles more often. It’s good for you.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Bible, part 2
Yesterday I showed (sort of) that that Bible must be God-inspired, meaning that it is correct. I'd like to add one point to that: our observations back up that statement. The historical parts of the Bible are repeatedly proved to be correct, based on every reliable historical source that can be found.
So we know the Bible is true, but is it complete? This is debated by various theologians, and there is a large range of opinions concerning the truth. The debate, essentially, is this: does God convey messages outside of the Bible?
We know the Bible is the truth and nothing but the truth, but is it the whole truth? I would say that it most definitely is not.
Anything that is good comes from God. The truth is good. So all truth comes from God. If the Bible is the complete word of God (the complete truth), then there can be no truth outside of the Bible. That means that right now I could not say "I'm wearing a shirt that says 'I SEE DUMB PEOPLE' in red letters on the front. I couldn't say this because it's true, and it's outside of the Bible.
So the Bible isn't the complete word of God. It is the true word of God, but it can't be complete. But now you're wondering, "what does this have to do with anything?" The Bible isn't complete, because to be complete it would have to be so vast a book that no one could ever possibly read it in a million trillion years. But that does not mean that it's worthless.
The Bible acts as a sort of test to determine what is true and what isn't. If someone makes a claim that is contrary to the Bible, it's not true. If someone makes a claim that goes closely with something in the Bible, it's true. If it's somewhere in between--it doesn't go against the Bible, but isn't necessarily mentioned therein--then something more is required. This something more is God.
God is still fully capable of revealing to us what is true and what is not. So if a question comes up that can't be answered by the Bible, perform a miracle: communicate with a being with a mind more vast than you could fathom.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
So we know the Bible is true, but is it complete? This is debated by various theologians, and there is a large range of opinions concerning the truth. The debate, essentially, is this: does God convey messages outside of the Bible?
We know the Bible is the truth and nothing but the truth, but is it the whole truth? I would say that it most definitely is not.
Anything that is good comes from God. The truth is good. So all truth comes from God. If the Bible is the complete word of God (the complete truth), then there can be no truth outside of the Bible. That means that right now I could not say "I'm wearing a shirt that says 'I SEE DUMB PEOPLE' in red letters on the front. I couldn't say this because it's true, and it's outside of the Bible.
So the Bible isn't the complete word of God. It is the true word of God, but it can't be complete. But now you're wondering, "what does this have to do with anything?" The Bible isn't complete, because to be complete it would have to be so vast a book that no one could ever possibly read it in a million trillion years. But that does not mean that it's worthless.
The Bible acts as a sort of test to determine what is true and what isn't. If someone makes a claim that is contrary to the Bible, it's not true. If someone makes a claim that goes closely with something in the Bible, it's true. If it's somewhere in between--it doesn't go against the Bible, but isn't necessarily mentioned therein--then something more is required. This something more is God.
God is still fully capable of revealing to us what is true and what is not. So if a question comes up that can't be answered by the Bible, perform a miracle: communicate with a being with a mind more vast than you could fathom.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
Monday, February 4, 2008
A Well-Known Book
A long time ago, some people wrote down words on paper. These people were exceedingly diverse--one was a farmer, another was the richest king in the world. The writings of this diverse group was compiled into a single work: the Bible. The Bible is the best-selling book, and has been since before anyone thought of the idea of recording best-sellers.
The Bible has more authors than any other book. It also has less inconsistencies than any other book. This is inconceivable, by any earthly standards. All these people have nothing in common but their religion. How could so many people from so many walks of life all believe exactly the same thing about God?
Unless, of course, their belief is not internal, but external. Here's a definition of those terms:
By "internal," I mean that the believer created this belief in his own mind, using his own logic. By "external," I mean that the believer's belief comes from some other source. This could be simply that this is what the believer has been told his whole life, or it could be God-inspired.
It had to be an external belief that inspired the Bible. But external belief is more broad: it could be God-inspired, but it also might be human-inspired.
The human-inspired idea could easily destroy the accuracy of the Bible, if the ideas mentioned therein line up only because of what other people said. But this isn't a problem, because that really isn't possible.
The doctrines taken from the Bible were thought of after the Bible was written. The authors of the Bible were the first to say the things that they said. They were not just writing about the things they were told their whole lives. This is what I'm doing at the moment--I'm discussing ideas that I've known about as long as I can remember. The Biblical authors are the ones who created those ideas.
But, because their agreement with each other is humanly impossible, their beliefs still must be external. They still have to come from somewhere else. This means God. If they did not think of their own ideas, and no one gave them the ideas, then it had to be God.
So the Bible was God-inspired. Some would argue that this is impossible because God doesn't exist, but there's a problem with that statement now.
The Bible can only exist in its present state if there is a God. Since it does exist, and cannot exist any other way, there has to be a God.
This means that the Bible is accurate, coming from the inventor of life, the universe and everything; it also means that there is an inventor. I hope some of this makes sense to someone other than me. If not, I don't know that I can explain much better. Sorry.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
The Bible has more authors than any other book. It also has less inconsistencies than any other book. This is inconceivable, by any earthly standards. All these people have nothing in common but their religion. How could so many people from so many walks of life all believe exactly the same thing about God?
Unless, of course, their belief is not internal, but external. Here's a definition of those terms:
By "internal," I mean that the believer created this belief in his own mind, using his own logic. By "external," I mean that the believer's belief comes from some other source. This could be simply that this is what the believer has been told his whole life, or it could be God-inspired.
It had to be an external belief that inspired the Bible. But external belief is more broad: it could be God-inspired, but it also might be human-inspired.
The human-inspired idea could easily destroy the accuracy of the Bible, if the ideas mentioned therein line up only because of what other people said. But this isn't a problem, because that really isn't possible.
The doctrines taken from the Bible were thought of after the Bible was written. The authors of the Bible were the first to say the things that they said. They were not just writing about the things they were told their whole lives. This is what I'm doing at the moment--I'm discussing ideas that I've known about as long as I can remember. The Biblical authors are the ones who created those ideas.
But, because their agreement with each other is humanly impossible, their beliefs still must be external. They still have to come from somewhere else. This means God. If they did not think of their own ideas, and no one gave them the ideas, then it had to be God.
So the Bible was God-inspired. Some would argue that this is impossible because God doesn't exist, but there's a problem with that statement now.
The Bible can only exist in its present state if there is a God. Since it does exist, and cannot exist any other way, there has to be a God.
This means that the Bible is accurate, coming from the inventor of life, the universe and everything; it also means that there is an inventor. I hope some of this makes sense to someone other than me. If not, I don't know that I can explain much better. Sorry.
Goodbye, valiant reader,
Mitchell
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