being happy

I think happiness is a huge problem. Not, of course, for the people who actually are happy, but for the people who aren't. These people, who may have sad and pathetic lives or may be billionares, see other people who are happy, and realize that they are not. "So what's wrong with me?" they wonder, but there seems to be no reason for their unhappiness.

The problem is widespread, but mostly only in countries such as the United States. Because the source of the problem is not really happy people, because happy people are annoying to non-happy people, but in fake-happy-people. This is very similar to the first problem of false saviors. We see actors on TV who are not really as happy as they appear. So then, from there, it's easy to leap to the conclusion that we are missing something.

We aren't missing something because we're not as plastic as an actor.

Because the problem is so similar to the first, the solution is too. It involves thinking mentally in your mind. Being self aware. If you know what happiness is, you won't be fooled into thinking you don't have happiness. So I have a challenge for you:

Look in your Bible's concordance for the words "happiness" and "joy." You'll find a lot there, and it all involves God. Like most problems, God has the only answer. (I think I just gave away most of my solutions.)

Here's a start:

Ecclesiastes 5:19Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God.

Happiness is the gift of God.

Also, happiness is about enjoying what you have, not having stuff.

Trust me, studying happiness is a lot more interesting and enjoyable that watching fake happiness on TV.

Seeds

This one is a major problem. It's the problem of watermelon seeds. Imagine it--there you are on a hot summer day, and eating a wonderful, perfect watermelon. But there in the center, creeping into your beautiful enjoyment, is a small black seed. And another. And another. And another after that. And then another sentence starting with "and."

We need to eliminate this problem. I think this should be done by burning all watermelon plants in the world. No watermelons means no watermelon seeds. Easy solution.

The False Savior

As it turns out, I didn't post yesterday. Internet went temporarily down, and I am currently writing as fast as possible so that I can get this post out. So here it is. . .

One of the biggest problems in America right now is that of false saviors. I'm not, however, referring here to an anti-Christ. I'm talking about what some might call "smart marketing." I'm talking about a method of advertising that involves a rather obviously subtle deception.

Here is what I'm talking about:

Imagine you see an ad on TV. This ad is for the newest Ford truck. On this ad they talk about how much better it is than anything that has ever come before.

Or maybe an ad for a cell phone companies. They talk a lot about how with their newest plan, you'll be able to talk with friends, relatives, etc for much cheaper. This will make you happier.

The list goes on, but the point is just that marketing almost universally involves saying that whatever it is you have is not as good as what they're trying to sell you.

So now, let's imagine that you go out and buy the truck, cell phone plan or potato peeler. You drive in it, call with it or peel with it, and yes, you are happier while it's new. But the problem is, the truck gets dirty and dented. The phone becomes obsolete, and the potato peeler breaks. And you're in the same place you were before. Your smile isn't as big as the smiles on the faces of the people on TV.

These corporations are not saviors. They're salesmen. We may know that intellectually, but we don’t know it. We may not claim that the truck is our salvation, but we feel like it is. Our feelings, so typically, have lied to us.

Although I had claimed yesterday that I was going to hide the answers, I changed my mind. Instead, I’m putting the solution to this problem at the bottom of the page. Here it is:

Because the problem is more personal than not, and we can’t stop the company from changing their ads, instead we have to find our own way out of this one. Basically, we have to somehow realize that we don’t need this new truck, and that even if we do get it, we won’t be made instantly happy.

That’s the best I can offer. Be aware that nothing is going to change just because you have a new thing. If I bought the best guitar in the world, and the best amplifiers and strings and everything else, I still wouldn’t be the best guitarist. I would be a mediocre guitarist with expensive stuff. Similarly, If your life is miserable, it has nothing to do with what you own (there are exceptions, maybe, but I’m willing to guess that if you have access to this blog, you’re not homeless.)

So there you are. This is all I’ve got. You can stop reading now.

My List of Problems

I used to go to a church where the pastor did a lot of series. His series typically lasted for years. I'm going to start my own series now, but I don't think it's going to last for years. I'm not good at stretching a subject out very far.

The subject of this series is problems. Some are vast, worldwide problems and some are small, lonely problems. However, I'm going to do more than give a multi-week list of problems. I'm also going to give the solution, because I think every problem has a solution.

Really, the main reason for reading these (sometimes) depressing posts is the solutions. So I'm going to hide the solution. It will be obvious enough if you read the post, but this way you can't just skip to the bottom of the page.

So get ready, because tomorrow I'm going to talk about false saviors, and the difficult solution to the problem.

Skillet

In about 24 hours, I will surrounded by a very large crowd of people, who are all observing a group of people standing on a stage holding guitars. This group of people is known collectively as "Skillet." Skillet is classified as a Christian metal band, meaning that they like thick distortion on their guitars, play mostly in minor keys, and talk about Jesus in a positive light.

In the place where I live, many people consider this style of music to be evil. I am not one of them.

I have been writing this blog for a whole six months and still haven't said that. Realizing this, I am ashamed. So here is a list of things I haven't admitted:

1: I don't think that the King James Version of the Bible is the only correct one.

2: I don't like the song Peace Like A River, and in fact I don't like the majority of the hymns that I know.

3: I don't believe that the gifts of the Holy Spirit died with the last of the apostles (in my defense, there is absolutely no biblical backing for this).

4: I don't think that it's wrong for a woman to wear pants.

5: I don't think it's wrong for a woman to speak in church.

6: I don't think that you're going to hell if you've been to a Catholic/Methodist/Church of Christ church.

That's all I can think of for now. If you've never heard any of these things said, good for you. If you believe any of these things. . .this is probably the wrong blog for you.

P.S. A little before I see Skillet, I'll see a band called Demon Hunter. I really wish I had thought of that name first so that I could use it for an acoustic/bluegrass band.

Update: I made an error. In no. 5 I missed the word "don't." I don't what I said I did think. This is what is called "the works of the foolish man," I guess.

Also, Skillet was great, Demon Hunter was. . .not as good. However, I would love them forever if they did a version of Peace Like a River.

the internet

The internet is an astonishing and amazingly useful device. I don't know what I would do without it. I get most of my information of the internet. Most of my communication is through the internet. Most of my entertainment is found on the internet. So what would happen if the entire thing suddenly crashed and was gone?

I would have to learn to use the library. I would have to write letters. I would have to figure out how to read books that I had not just ordered/downloaded off of the internet.

If the internet were gone, a lot of things would go with it. Most of it is just small (or large) conveniences, but we've become very reliant on these conveniences.

For example, when you go to Wal-Mart and swipe your credit card, the information that is transferred from the card to the computer has to go through the internet. If the internet went down, that would be over.

Most of our money processes rely heavily on the internet. If the internet vanished tonight, the entire United States economy (what's left of it, anyway) would collapse into dust. The government would be lost for at least six months, trying to figure out how to communicate from sea to shining sea. Someone would probably figure out how to use snail mail, but that takes about 10,000 times longer to send a piece of information from New York to Los Angeles. And then it would take just as long to send a reply.

I could go on and on about how terrible it would be if the internet went out. But what if God decided to stop receiving prayers? How many people would notice? My estimate: twenty-two people. If I were a mutant, I could count that on one hand.

Well, the number may be a little higher, but the point is the same: Christians rely a lot more on the world (internet) than they do on God, who is a lot bigger and a lot safer than the internet. And with God, you don't need virus protection and you don't get spam.

P.S. To you ancient people who remember a time without the internet, is it like the equivalent of your libraries? What would you have done if someone burned down all your local libraries?

humility

I just went to Google Blogs and did a search for "Controlled Disorder." I found myself. It was cool.

I was very proud for a few seconds, until I realized that no one is ever going to do a search for such a random thing. After pondering this fact, I also realized that even if someone does find my blog, most likely he is going to immediately click the "back" button in his internet browser. So I am humble again.

Well, not really. To be humble is kind of hard (what an understatement). To be humble, I have to pretty much not think about myself at all. This means that if I think of myself even in derogatory terms (something I would never do), then I am still not humble. In fact, it's just as arrogant to think of myself as stupid as it is to think of myself as the smartest genius in the universe. This is simply because I am thinking about myself.

Arrogance is self-obsession. So to be obsessed with my supposed stupidity is to be arrogant.

So don't be arrogant. Think about someone else. Like me.

where is Heaven?

According to the Bible, Heaven and Hell are real places. They are where people go when they die. So what I'm wondering is, where are these places? Here are some ideas:

A: On another planet

B: In another universe

C: Heaven is a state of mind

What do you think? Is it one of these, or something else?

Confidential

random

For some reason, the word "random" has seized hold of our culture, and is refusing to let go. It is the adjective of the decade, the wonderful word used by everyone who is anyone. To be cool, you have to use the word "random."

Did I say use? I'm sorry, I meant overuse. Below is the above paragraph translated into the language of the modern American:

For some random reason, the word "random" has randomly grabbed our --no word exists for culture in this language. Maybe "universe"-- , and randomly won't let go. It's pretty much the most randomly awesome word, and all the cool people use it, in like, random ways. You've gotta randomly say "random" to be cool.

You may have noted that there is no word for "culture" in the language of the modern American. This is because the modern American doesn't understand that there could be more in this world than our culture. Therefore "culture" is synonymous with "everything that could possibly exist."

Anyway, back to random. "Random" means this: proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.

Our entire world is random. Maybe that's why so many people like the word. Right now, everything is proceeding with no definite aim, reason or pattern. Since we love ourselves over God, we obsessively use words like "random," because that means that in everything we say we refer back to ourselves.

And that's why I do my very best to avoid using that word. Maybe tomorrow I'll describe my anger over obsessive use or misuse of the word "ironic."